Emerald City Comicon Haikus
We’re way too fried to do a proper con report, but we have these for you:
Tired from the trip.
Skip the party, let’s just watch
Dateline NBC.
It’s a comic book
Yes I drew it all myself
No, it isn’t free.
Paul Tobin explains
Root Nibot’s a pseudonym
For the monkey book.
How’s the traffic here?
When’s your new book coming out?
Hey good luck with that.
Ashamed I felt thrilled
When a midget storm trooper
Showed me plumber’s crack.
Toddler dressed as Hulk
Hits a boy dressed as the Thing
Marvel Two-in-One.
Man in a green mask.
Look Mommy, I see the Hulk!
Cleo, that’s an Orc.
Confused but amused
They ask again and again
Is Boilerplate real?
Draw her as a horse?
I suppose I could do that.
Fifty dollars please.
Karl is in my seat
Where the hell did Kip come from?
I need a table.
Unless these people
were born green these fluorescent
lights don’t flatter them.
I print Grue’s reveal
as a poster. This guy thinks
his eyes are nostrils.
Little Dutch Monkey
Thought you were from David Hahn
The truth was more odd.
Business cards at home
And I have no table space.
Wife is melting down.
Saturday Top Pot’s
In my mouth; money’s flowing
Sunday, all is still.
How much for your book?
Two bucks, says I. Well I’ve spent
It on worse, says he.
What I found out is
Suicide Girls are way more
Hot with photoshop.
So you write the words
And someone else draws it up.
How much does that pay?
Middle Aged Folk
Snatch up my book, the youth
pass on to Witchblade
Sir your fly is down
You’re standing, I am sitting
Do not do not want.
Can’t give you a free
Copy of my paperback
No one reads your blog.
Goal: meet Hope Larson
She’s not at her table — wait!
Here she is at mine!
Loud fight with girlfriend
turns into performance art
when you’re cosplaying.
Masks, spandex in droves
I laugh, grimace, wonder who
they are underneath
Your jeans are skinny
Mister teenage hipster kid
but your butt isn’t.
A portfolio:
“Will you please critique my work?
It’s not very good.”
Nine year old Ellie
Will you draw my own hero
Powers are sonic.
Many tapas plates
We won’t speak of it again
Big ol’ bowl of cheese
You read my comic
Say it was lovely, then leave
That’s not how this works.
We’re webcomics fans
We’re not used to paying for
Anything we read.
Last year everyone
Dressed like the walking dead, now
Zombies are passe.
I see bowler hats
Clockwork jewelry, button boots
Yep, steampunk is big.
The Marvel panel
Question about Iron Man
No he’s not a Skrull.
Warren Ellis said
He wanted to have me killed
Most effective blurb.
Success when I leave
Failure upon staying put
Smoked salmon is yum.
Yay, Top Pot doughnuts
DnD fans buy our prints
Yay, Hefeweizen.
Hey I like your work
Where are you from? Oh that’s great
We’re from Portland too.
Saturday, a zoo.
Sunday, traffic is way down
Happy Mother’s Day
Sign it, sir? I can’t.
I didn’t draw that comic.
I was not yet born
Got airline safety?
Poor Ron does–in his right ear,
twenty thousand times.
She picks up my book.
Snatch it from her little hands
That one’s not for kids.
Got one of your own? Post a comment!
Contributions by Terri Nelson, Ron Chan, Susan Tardif, Paul Guinan, Cat Ellis, Jonathan & Sarah Case, John Aegard, Sara Ryan, Jeff Parker, Stewart Loving-Gibbard, Colleen Coover, and Steve Lieber
